death is not the end
by MyOTPstolemylife
Summary: in his final moments, Kylo Ren is comforted by the woman who left him long ago, and when her time comes, he will be there for her. angst reylo *trigger* fairly graphic blood/gore
1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren slumped against the gray stone wall in a pool of his own blood, which gleamed in a sharp contrast to the rough dirt below him. His hitched breath escaped in small puffs, appearing as clouds of white in the freezing air of the cave.

This wasn't how he wanted to die.

He hadn't imagined himself leaving the physical world in some great blaze of glory, not like he had as a child. After hours of listening to tales of his father's spontaneous, dangerous smuggling runs and his mother's diplomatic missions to war-torn worlds with life-threatening military encounters, young Ben Solo was certain he'd be killed in a battle against the Empire (even though they had been dismantled by the time he was old enough to even think about these things), perhaps after destroying the Star Destroyer carrying Lord Sidious. Or maybe he'd lay down his life to save refugees evacuating a planet run by pirates or a corrupt government.

He never thought he'd be bleeding out in a dark cave, alone, hundreds of meters below the surface, from something as stupid as slipping and being impaled by a stalagmite. The sudden crushing weight of his body had caused the stone structure to snap in half, and he had crashed to the floor, screaming out in pain.

No one could hear him.

Of course he had insisted that he search for the kyber crystals on his own, rather than accept the help of the stormtroopers like Hux had suggested. He was so stuck on his high-and-mighty idea that the presence of a non-force-wielder would somehow taint the crystals that it had gotten him killed, or at least pretty close to it. He had instructed them to return to the ship, and not to disturb him until the next day. He set out with his climbing gear by himself.

He had managed to drag himself to the wall, howling as blood and chunks of flesh slithered across the floor with him. He placed his hands across his abdomen, trying in vain to keep his innards where they were supposed to be.

Delirious from blood loss, Kylo studied his own lightsaber, which he held in his hand, turning it over and judging the rough construction, weighing it in his hand, knowing that with one swift shift of his blade he would be able to end his pain. And yet he couldn't.

There was one last person he had to see before he died.

Gathering the lasts dregs of strength, he searched for _her_ , grasping at the loose tendrils of her memory, allowing tears to stream down his face as he called her name, desperation tearing at the edges of his words.

He was tired. So tired.

A sense of hopelessness consumed him, and he cried out, both in pain and sorrow, feeling as if his heart was being torn apart as his torso had been. Did she not feel his pain the way he felt hers? Had she erased him from her mind so thoroughly had she didn't even recognize the sound of his voice? He clasped each hand around the stone in his stomach and started to pull at it, some sort of animal noise ripping at his throat as the blood poured more readily from his wound, and he removed the slab with one final heave. He exhaled, the corners of his vision going blurry, the excruciating pain in his middle numbing as he felt his body start to shut down.

The air around him warmed, and he couldn't help but smile as he heard the scraping of boots across dirt as she hurried to him, and dropped to her knees at his side. "You came." He whispered, unable to produce anything louder than that. His throat was raw from his shrieks of agony.

"I didn't forget about you." Rey's voice shook, her face wet with tears. "I couldn't. You meant too much to me." Sobs wracked her body, and she buried her face in his shoulder, holding him as tightly as she could, rocking him slowly, gently. She ignored the blood at soaked through her arm wraps and painted her skin.

"I'm sorry." When she didn't react, Kylo tried again, louder this time, fighting against the coughs that brought up blood. "I'm sorry for everything. For my father, for Luke, for—"

He was interrupted as she placed her lips on his, urgently, passionately, softly, somehow all at the same time. "I love you. I always have." Her eyes shone in earnest, and she placed a hand on his cheek, tears flowing freely. "You deserved so much better, Ben. And I'm sorry you were deprived the happiness you should have had."

"You came." He repeated, entranced by the halo of pure light that formed around her head as he gazed up at her, his eyes unfocused and glazed. "Rey, I—" he choked on the rising blood in his mouth, and she watched in horror as streams of red poured down his lips and chin. "I love you, too."

Her screams of anguish echoed around the cave as his body went limp in his arms. She felt as if her soul had been ripped to shreds and then released into the vacuum of space to have all the oxygen strangled out of it. Tears like a waterfall cascaded down her cheeks as she held him close, feeling his flesh already begin to turn cold. The chill of death surrounded her.

She was tempted to let it take her away.

"I'm so sorry." Rey wept, hiccupping and coughing as she struggled to breathe. His amber eyes stared at the ceiling, blank and unseeing. She raised a hand to close his eyelids, and gasped in shock as his body began to fade, slowly, until all that remained was his cloak, lightsaber, and an inch-deep puddle of his blood. She gathered his cape in her arms and wrapped in around her, inhaling his scent, feeling something like peace wash over her. "Goodbye, Ben. I'll see you around, I guess."

 **A/N: so there was some weirdo glitchy thing going on w this piece like a bunch of random text that almost looked like coding was all funky so sorry abt that i hope you enjoy this version better cos you can actually read it**


	2. Chapter 2

Rey had been blessed with a long, full life.

Not that she didn't have narrow escapes and peril-filled adventures with Finn, Poe, and Rose, but it did seem that she had a guardian angel looking out for her.

For nearly sixty years she traveled the galaxy, searching for the sacred Jedi temples scattered from planet to planet, and had even stumbled across actual, real-life Jedi like herself. Arguably more skilled and with more training, but it made her heart swell to know she wasn't completely alone in the universe.

Not anymore.

She dedicated her life to finding and training as many force-sensitive beings as she could, along with her newfound Jedi companions, Hera Myoni and Anseri Wigamasayn. The two, one Togruta and the other Twi'lek, had both been apprentice to descendents of Jedi who escaped the massacre two lifetimes ago, and were released to find others like themselves.

She could never fully untangle herself from the Resistance, nor did she want to. She enjoyed helping others and fighting to abolish any type of government that used evil to rule its people. She could never be separated from her friends, the ones who had saved her life time and time again. Finn and Rose had married and had three children, two boys and one girl, each with dark curly hair and brown eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. Poe had always swore he'd never let himself be tied down, all he needed as his droid and an X-wing, but he met a no-nonsense girl with violet eyes and pale orange skin who put him in his place and loved him more than anything else. Following an exchange of vows and an announcement of pregnancy, Poe amended his previous promise: _"I think a wife and kid will be an adventure of its own."_

Rey never found another whom she loved as dearly as Ben, and she was fine with that. Her friend's happiness was her happiness. Besides, she was far too busy with her padawans to worry about romance.

Over the course of her life she had established seven different communities throughout the galaxy for the force-sensitive, places they could learn about their abilities and how to control and utilize them. She taught from the Jedi texts she had taken from Ahch-To, and what she had learned from her time with Luke and from dueling with Ben. " _Anger can help you fight, even give you an advantage, but do not let it consume you. It is a balance. Light and dark. That balance is achieved by centering yourself when in battle. Do not lean too far to either side, or you could fall."_

Leia's death had rocked the whole galaxy. Her funeral was held on the moon of Endor, and was attended by nearly the entirety of the Resistance and all of the Ewoks who had fought beside her so long ago. She was buried in the ground beneath a net of woven flowers that twinkled like stars in the night. Every death chipped away at her heart, but Rey remembered the words of the woman who had been like a mother to her: " _Dear child, you have so much strength. Do not forget that it is okay to be weak at times."_

Rey, lying in her cot aboard the Millennium Falcon, her breathing shallow and wheezing, traced the lines along the floorboards with her eyes. A whimper from the doorway drew her attention, and she looked up to see Chewie, standing in the entrance to her room, sadness practically radiating off of him.

He knew she was dying.

"Oh, Chewbacca." Her voice was low and uneven, but her smile compensated for her shortcomings. Even in old age, her beaming grin bracketed by wrinkles was still a showstopper. "Thank you for all you've done. You have been such a great friend to me."

He groaned a response, and she chuckled, before erupting into coughs. Once she was able to speak, she teased, "You're just anxious so you can go out and find a new female Wookie _friend_. That's it, isn't it?" he roared indignantly, and her smile softened. "I know, Chewie. I'm going to miss you, too."

An alarm sounded from the cockpit, and with an exaggerated moan, her companion tromped down the hall to investigate.

"You've grown old." A rich voice suddenly filled the room, and Rey rolled her eyes, smirking and shaking her head.

"Oh, kriff, not this again. It's not like you haven't been spying on me every day for the last half century," She rolled over to face Ben, who stood by her bed, watching her with curiosity. He studied her gray hair and dulled eyes, and the fine lines that crisscrossed her forehead and encircled her mouth.

He shrugged and looked away, surveying the interior of her room. " _This_ place still looks the same. I guess some things just never change, huh?"

"Is he there?" she asked, her words light and raspy. Air was becoming harder and harder to inhale.

"You'll have to find out, scavenger." He winked at his use of her old nickname, and laughed aloud as she rolled her eyes and huffed in exasperation. After a moment, he turned serious again and crouched down to be at eye level with her. "I'll tell you this, though: it's _beautiful_ , Rey. Almost as beautiful as you."

Rey rolled her eyes again, this time finding it hard to reorient herself afterwards. Fear gripped her heart and she grabbed his hand, whispering, "Should I be scared?"

"Only if you want to be," his force-ghost moved around the room, brushing his hands over the tops of trinkets she had collected over the years. He stopped over an object, a look of surprise painting his face almost comically. "You kept this?" he asked, holding up his old lightsaber, half wrapped in a bloodstained cloth.

"Of course I did. What do you think I used while I worked on repairing my own?" her laughed turned into a coughing fit, and he rushed to her side, still holding the weapon.

The air in the room stilled, and Rey inhaled a shuddering breath. "I think it's time." Her hand closed around his, and grin played at her lips. "See you on the other side."

Rey of Jakku, the scavenger, the nobody, the orphan, the Jedi, drifted into death holding her lover's lightsaber and wearing a smile brighter than ever before.


End file.
